Until I Fade Page 7

  "I told you, I wasn't with anyone!"

  Austin let go of his hold in his hair. "You're sticking to that story?"

  Liam said nothing. He watched Austin slide the belt from his waist, watched him loop it around his hand. Liam told himself this couldn't be worse than the things Austin had already done, or the things other men had done to him. But when the hit came down, Liam realized Austin was being creative. He cried out in pain when the belt-buckle carved through his skin. Every blow after that was worse than the first one. No matter how much Liam begged Austin to stop, Austin wouldn't listen. He could feel the layer of blood forming on his skin.

  "You're a fucking whore!" Austin bellowed, stopping at last and Liam heard the belt dropping from his hand and slipping to the floor.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Jensen could still smell Liam in the room and on the sheets but there was no sign of him anywhere. After everything they had talked about, all the things they had said to each other, Jensen couldn't help feeling disappointed to find Liam gone. He was sick of men doing that to him and he truly thought Liam was different. Not different enough to give you a chance obviously. The hunger was also at its worst. There might be a blood bag in the Escalade that Kent had given to him. Jensen got up and headed to the bathroom, and on his way he saw something. There was a vial on the floor with very little of the white stuff Liam had been using to get high. Jensen palmed the vial.

  ***

  There was one blood bag in the car just as Jensen thought. He was about to tear it open when someone knocked on the window. It was a woman and Jensen could tell she was a hooker. Jensen rolled down the window and she smiled. She was pretty, as pretty as a woman wearing last night's clothes and a bedhead could look. "Can I help you?" Jensen asked.

  The woman leaned against the car, revealing her ample cleavage. Her breath stank of alcohol. "How about you take me for a ride?" she said.

  Jensen could smell her blood. Despite the alcohol stench her blood was fragrant, enticing. "How much is it going to cost me?"

  "Depends on what you want I guess," she said.

  Jensen reached into his wallet, and picked out a hundred-dollar bill. He held it up and the woman smiled, took the money and went over to the passenger side. When she got in, Jensen locked the doors. One little taste, that's all he needed. Just to feel the same high again. It was cruel of Kent to keep him away from it. The girl placed her hand on Jensen's thigh. Jensen pushed her hand away. The woman looked dejected but quickly recovered. "Are you mad at someone, baby?" she asked. Jensen couldn't help picturing Liam doing all this with someone. Maybe she was right. Maybe he was mad. But he had no right to be.

  Jensen looked at her. He placed a hand on her shoulder, touched her neck. He could hear her heart beating, so different from Liam's. He wondered if heartbeats were like fingerprints and no two people in the world had the same one. The woman used her hand to lift her hair away from her neck when she noticed Jensen was paying attention to it. One little taste, the voice in his head kept saying. How will you get away with it if you can't make her forget?

  What difference does it make?

  You're a monster.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Austin paced about the room, mumbling things Liam couldn't understand for the most part. All he could hear were the same useless rationalizations as always. "You're turning me into this!" Austin said. "You make the monster inside me come to the surface..."

  Liam couldn't care less. The pain was the only thing that he could concentrate on. His back was hurting so bad he couldn't move without screaming first. All he wanted was for Austin to let him go, to not hurt him again.

  When Austin finally stopped mumbling, he came to Liam and Liam was gripped by a new fear. "Don't hurt me," he cried. "I'm sorry. Please, let me go."

  Austin started untying him. Liam still couldn't bring himself to get up. He stayed on the bed, hoping to get used to the excruciating pain. Austin just stood there, watching him struggle. Then he left his side and when he came back Liam saw the vial in his hand. Austin sat next to him on the bed. "You want something for the pain?" he asked.

  "Yes."

  "Liam," Austin said. "Why should I help you? You lie to me. You sleep around with other people. It's hurtful."

  Liam was ready to beg. "Please," he cried.

  Austin uncapped the vial.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Jensen rang the buzzer and Kent came out looking sleepy.

  "Forgot my keys,” Jensen said by way of apology.

  Kent was wearing his robe and Jensen was guessing not much else. He followed Kent into the kitchen, where someone had already made coffee. Kent stared at him, as he poured the coffee into two cups. It made Jensen uneasy, as though Kent had something on him.

  "You look different," Kent said.

  Jensen almost dropped the coffee cup Kent handed out to him. "I don't know what you're talking about," Jensen said.

  "Where were you the whole night?"

  "I was with someone."

  "Like a date?"

  "Well, yeah."

  "How'd it go?"

  "It went well."

  "And you didn't happen to kill your date or anything?"

  "No," Jensen said. "He went home."

  "You don't seem too happy about it."

  "Well that's because he left!" Jensen snapped. He expected Kent to get mad at him but instead, Kent kept drinking his coffee.

  "You really like this guy," Kent observed.

  "Trust me, I don't get it either."

  "It could just be the vampire thing. Your emotions are enhanced."

  "I liked him before all this. I just didn't have the courage to talk to him before."

  A woman walked into the kitchen, wearing Kent's shirt. It didn't hide much thanks to the sun pouring in from the windows that gave the shirt a transparent quality. She kissed Kent. "You got any juice?" she said and opened the fridge. Jensen watched the puzzled look on her face when she saw the blood bags. Jensen glanced at Kent, who was grinning.

  "What is this?" the woman said.

  Kent was standing next to her by that time, and he stared into her eyes. "You're going to forget this,” he said. "Along with the rest of the stuff I told you to forget."

  "Okay," the woman said, smiling. With that she went back where she had come from. Jensen turned to Kent. "Is that safe?"

  "Not really. A human could very well lose their mind."

  "But you still did it to her, several times."

  Kent shrugged. "She wasn't that smart to begin with." He placed his coffee cup on the counter. "Don't go anywhere," he said, going toward his room. "There are some things I'd like to talk about."

  "Okay."

  "I shouldn't be long," he said, and added. "And Jensen. Anger isn't a good thing for a vampire."

  Jensen stared at the television set.

  He wanted to turn it on, watch something that would take him out of this mood, but any show he watched would just become white noise in the background because he was still hung on up the events of the day, especially Liam. There was something about Liam that made Jensen want things again, things like happiness or love, things he thought he had stopped desiring, ideas he thought he had stopped subscribing to a long time ago. Every time he saw Liam he couldn’t help but picture them being together. And sure it might have been the vampire he had turned into, that his emotions were all over the place, but that wasn’t a temporary phase! Being a vampire that’s who he was now. He would always feel this way. And he knew for a fact that beneath that layer of drugged indifference that Liam seemed to have, he felt the same way about Jensen. He had never been good with that sort of thing before, never been able to actually know what the other person thought about him but with Liam he knew.

  The only reason he had been pissed off about him not turning up for their date was because Jensen was scared. Not because Liam wouldn’t like him as much as he did but because Liam might not give this thing a chance because of his fears.

  He got up a
nd decided to have a drink, thinking maybe that would calm his nerves. The minute he opened the refrigerator door though, he got a shock.

  Nested between fresh new blood bags was the severed head of a woman.

  Her features were bloated and pale but there was no doubt in Liam’s mind about who she was.

  “I see you met Lena,” Kent said from behind.

  Jensen was still staring at the corpse head. “Kent?”

  “You’re a vampire,” Kent said. “Is that severed head really that much of a problem?”

  “Why…um…what’s this doing here? In our fridge?”

  “Don’t act so surprised,” Kent said, grabbing a blood bag right next to the head and placing it in Jensen’s hand. He closed the fridge door and Jensen looked helplessly at the blood bag in his hand.

  “What do you mean act surprised?”

  “Well,” Kent said. “I just meant that you shouldn’t be surprised there’s a severed head in our fridge. You should be surprised you’re the one who severed that head in the first place.”

  The blood bag dropped from Jensen’s hand.

  He stood there, shaking.

  “Jensen,” Kent said. “I get why you did it. You’re new, it happens sometimes. I just don’t get why you felt the need to hide it from me. I’m your maker. Did you really think you were going to get away with it?”

  Jensen couldn’t help the tears that followed.

  Kent came toward him and put his arms around Jensen.

  “I’m a monster,” Jensen said through the tears.

  Kent pulled him away and wiped the tears off his progeny’s face. “Who isn’t?”

  Jensen broke away from Kent and turned his back to the older vampire. “What am I going to do?”

  “You’re not going to do anything,” Kent said. “I’ll take care of it.”

  “You said there would be consequences.”

  “There are,” Kent said. “But we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

  “Is it something to do with the vampire code?”

  “Yes.”

  Jensen turned to face Kent. “So we’ll be punished?”

  “At some point, yeah.”

  “What’s the punishment for something like this?”

  “Sometimes nothing. You might even get away with it. Other times, they’ll make us suffer in some stupid way. But we’re immortal, so it’s not anything that would kill us. If it doesn’t kill you it makes you stronger, right?”

  “Do you really believe that?”

  “No. But it sounds good to the ears.”

  Jensen stood there, wondering what he was supposed to do now.

  “That boy,” Kent said. “Liam. From the club. How much do you like him?”

  Jensen stared at Kent. “Enough to sacrifice everything.”

  “Good,” Kent said. “Because I want you to make sure he’s okay. You need to get him away from Austin and I know how.”

  “How do you know about all that?”

  “I do my homework, Jensen.”

  “You’ve been keeping tabs on me?”

  Kent walked closer to him. “My blood inside you,” he said. “It’s like a tracking device. It helps me see.”

  “See what?”

  “Whatever’s in your heart.”

  “And what did you see?”

  “How much you love him.”

  “I don’t even know if he loves me the same way.”

  “What does your intuition say?”

  “It says he does love me.”

  “Then go with that.”

  “Isn’t that a little presumptuous? Crazy even?”

  “Love is always crazy,” Kent said. “You can never really tell what a person feels about you, Jensen. You can only hope that they feel the same obsession for you that you feel for them.”

  Suddenly, Jensen was filled with a new sense of direction.

  He hugged Kent and started walking out the door.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I’m going to find out if your theory’s true.”

  “Jensen wait!”

  “Yeah?”

  Kent looked gravely serious. “Remember what I told you. Vampires don’t get along with humans. Prey. Predator. Not the smartest combination. His life will always be in danger. From you.”

  That made Jensen stop in his tracks. “What do I do then?”

  Kent picked up the blood bag from the floor and tore it open. “I can’t tell you what to do.”

  Jensen watched as Kent emptied the contents of the bag inside his mouth, and then wiped off the wayward streams of blood when he was finished.

  Monster.

  But Kent was no more a monster than Jensen was, considering that the head lying in their fridge belonged to the woman Jensen had killed not long ago.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  When Jensen got to Liam’s place he was in for a shock.

  The door was wide open, so Jensen had walked in.

  And now he was looking at what seemed to be Austin’s dead body, on the floor with a large knife sticking out in the back. There was blood everywhere. On one corner of the room, Liam sat covered in the same blood. Jensen felt a sudden concern for him. “Liam?”

  “I killed him,” Liam said. “I finally did it.”

  “What happened?”

  Liam looked up at him. “Why do you care?”

  “You know why.”

  “No, actually I don’t! Enlighten me!”

  It felt weird saying the next words but Jensen knew he had to do it. “Because I love you.”

  Liam started to laugh. “Fuck you! You don’t love me! No one loves me! You just want me, Jensen. And when you’re done with me you’ll do what every other jackass who’s ever been in my life has done. You’ll leave. Or you’ll treat me like I’m trash.”

  “Get up,” Jensen said.

  “I don’t want to.”

  “Liam for the love of God, get up!”

  Liam gingerly stood. Jensen went up to him and started unbuttoning his shirt and Liam stopped him. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

  “You have to change,” Jensen said, ignoring Liam and kept trying to unbutton that shirt but before he was done, Liam hit him. Jensen felt the throbbing where Liam’s palm had landed and he growled, without thinking, and shoved at Liam.

  For a while, Jensen didn’t know why Liam looked so surprised but then he remembered.

  Liam must have seen his contorted face.

  Jensen tried to calm his nerves and managed to do it at last. “Liam… you have nothing to be afraid of…”

  “What… are you?”

  “Have you heard all those myths about Wentworth having vampires?”

  “Y…yeah…”

  “Well they’re true.”

  “This isn’t happening,” Liam said. “This is in my head! I’ve gone insane!” He looked at Austin’s body. “Did I even do this?”

  “You did.”

  “It can’t be. I’ve never…”

  “Hurt a fly?”

  Liam looked devastated.

  “It’s okay,” Jensen said. “I know you’re scared now. But it’s going to be okay, Liam. I promise.”

  “How!” Liam screamed. “How is this going to be okay?”

  “Let me take care of it,” Jensen said. “Let me take care of you.”

  “I don’t even know who you are.”

  “Of course you know,” Jensen said. “You know me, Liam. This… me being this creature, is that the only thing that matters to you?”

  “You’re a fucking vampire!”

  “And you’re a fucking murderer! Shit happens, Liam! There are things in life you can’t control.”

  Liam closed his eyes. “This isn’t happening.”

  “You think all this will disappear because you close your eyes?”

  Liam opened his eyes and glared at Austin’s body again. “I guess not.”

  Monster.

  Maybe Kent was right.

 
There was a monster inside us all.

  There was a monster inside Liam too.

  “I know how you feel,” Jensen said.

  “No, you can’t possibly know.”

  “I killed a human being the other night. Things got out of control. I went too far without thinking and then I had no choice. I couldn’t just leave her there and I didn’t want to tell my maker because I thought it would make me look bad.”

  Liam turned to Jensen. “You killed someone?”

  “Not one of my proudest moments, I assure you.”

  Liam crossed the distance between them and put his arms around Jensen, holding him tight. In return, Jensen held him even tighter. “What happens now?” Liam asked.

  “We won’t survive this, if you’re human.”

  “Why not?”

  “Cause your blood is food to me! Or a very potent drug. I can’t keep avoiding it and hope for the best for the rest of our lives. Sooner or later I will end up killing you.”

  Liam looked up. “You want to turn me?”

  “I don’t see any other way out.”

  “I’m going to be a vampire,” Liam said.

  “It’s not that awful, is it?”

  “Not when you’ve lived a life like mine.”

  “Liam,” Jensen said. “You have no idea how great it feels. I promise you’re going to love it. I’ll walk you through the whole process.”

  “Does it hurt?”

  “A little.”

  Liam hugged him again. “Okay.”

  Jensen kissed Liam on the head. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s take care of this body before anyone finds us. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

  Jensen placed Austin’s body inside the same carpet that he had bled on and rolled him up inside it. His strength had been increasing ever since he had turned. He was surprised to find that it was so easy to handle that corpse. He knew for a fact that corpses tended to weigh heavier than regular human bodies. Liam looked completely unprepared for what had happened. Austin must have really fucked him up but Jensen was prepared to face any difficulties Liam might have to face now. He was ready to take this commitment to the next level.